I can feel him receding from my life dragging behind him the detritus of our time together like a tsunami retreating from the shores of paradise.
Every where I look I see parts of him like debris left on the beach.
I have no energy to clean up to remove all reminders of him instead preferring to walk among the remains crying with each emerging memory.
I always loved beach combing, looking for treasure among the trash hoping to find or to be found.
I should be angry at him for leaving because he claimed we were no longer fun together.
I should be outraged and fed up with his behavior but all I can feel is this giant weight of loneliness pressed against my chest making it difficult to breathe.
I am holding on to the hope that he will return to me like a wave returning to the shore and once again we can be together in whatever form our together chooses.
Every where I look I see parts of him like debris left on the beach.
I have no energy to clean up to remove all reminders of him instead preferring to walk among the remains crying with each emerging memory.
I always loved beach combing, looking for treasure among the trash hoping to find or to be found.
I should be angry at him for leaving because he claimed we were no longer fun together.
I should be outraged and fed up with his behavior but all I can feel is this giant weight of loneliness pressed against my chest making it difficult to breathe.
I am holding on to the hope that he will return to me like a wave returning to the shore and once again we can be together in whatever form our together chooses.
For now, I walk with my head down not to search for treasure but to hide my tears from a world that wants me to forget someone I want to remember.
3 comments:
I wish I could give you a hug now.
I hope he returns in some form, but most of all I hope for peace and happiness for you.
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I've been lurking about a bit. I've been catching up on what's been going on with you. I felt so bad for you when you posted your letter but I didn't comment. I will now though. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope that you get through this with the "who you were", instead of who you had become in order to be with him. You DO deserve better, whether you know it or not.
*hug*
Yes it hurts, and I'm sorry you are suffering. Just remember that your strength never came from him.
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