Reasons why I am an oddball in the oddball world of theater.
The Lobby Head Shot Board
Yes, it's true, part of the reason I hate it is because I despise any close up picture of my face.
I honestly hate any picture of my face.
The other part of my detestation is that I FEEL my performance is not about my face or in fact about ME the performance is about the character I portray and how I portray it.
I am really not in this for the recognition, I do like to be respected for my talent but I do not nor do I want people recognizing me all the time.**
The Program Biography.
This may or may not be a secret to you but they little bios of the cast in the program are in fact AUTOBIOGRAPHIES.
Yep, we have to write them ourselves. This goes against my very nature. I really feel uncomfortable talking about my accomplishments if in fact they are even accomplishments. Up until very recently I used to treat the Bio as a forum for my imaginary stand up act.
"Favorite ROLLS include, spring, cinnamon and kaiser"
An actor whose work I highly respect told me that I was selling myself short so I no longer joke in the Bio but I still hate writing them.
The Curtain Call
Yes, it's true, I hate curtain calls. I feel SOOOO uncomfortable standing in front of the audience practically begging for their applause. After the final curtain I'm done, the performance is over let me quietly sneak out the back door which leads me to my other quirky hate...
The after show meet and greet.
Hate it. HATE HATE HATE. I know actors who enjoy this part and that's great but it's not really for me. I've been known to sneak out the back way. I've been told that this is disrespectful to the people who come to see me and this is what I have to say about that; IF, and this is a BIG IF, I ask people to come to see me I will most definitely go and thank them BUT beyond my family I never really ask anyone or tell anyone.
Ell always comes to see me and MCat too and OF COURSE I go and greet them but again beyond them I don't like to greet anyone.
Why? Compliments, I really don't like them. You can't DO anything with them beyond saying "Thank You." Criticisms I can handle because I KNOW what to do with them. Also it's the TYPE of compliment, a "You were great!" really doesn't DO anything for me but a "You really moved me!" or "I cried (or laughed or sighed What ever)"
I am in NO WAY saying that to love any of these is wrong, hardly, I kind of wish that I could appreciate them and not feel so uncomfortable but not liking them makes me a bit of an odd ball in the odd world of Theater!
** one of the best compliments I ever received was sort of a non compliment! I was with Ell and J.E. at another performance and a man came up to those two and complimented them on a recent performance (Their performance were outstanding and I pee'd myself a few times watching them) . My dear sweet Ell being the sweetheart that she is told the man that I too was in the show. (I had played a pregnant women with a thick southern drawl) the man did not recognize me at all. At first I was sort of upset but then I thought DAMN! I sure did my job right.
6 comments:
And yet, you're still drawn to the performing life like a moth to a flame . . . it surges through you, DL, and is as necessary to your existence as air or food. Most of us never find anything in our lives that we're so passionate about . . . or if we do, we don't get to enjoy them nearly as often. Do what you love, sweetie, and what makes you happy.
XO
Even as I write this you're on stage again, doing what comes naturally. Do let us all know how it went :o)
Hugs and kisses
i am here to say you turned in yet another wonderful performance. you never cease to amaze me with all the little "extras" you throw in.
brava!
Hi DL,
You are SO pretty, my sweet!
XOXOXO
Chuck
First of all you've got a marvelous face, DL, with the incredible plasticity and range of a true professional. Me? I'm guessing Marlon Brando was totally in love with his face because every image I've ever seen of the big mook has exactly the same expression. You? Maybe your discomfort with images contributes to your incredible expressive range.
Also I know you trained as a dancer but you're an actress now -- like it or not (and seriously, girlfriend, what's not to like?) in theatre your face is a tool, it's your resume, and yeah, acting is more than having a face but more than anything the face is the canvas an actor paints on. So bite it off, shut up, and get carnivorous about your headshots.
Same with your bios. They don't just brag about you, you know, they're there to brag about the company at large and even the audience. I mean, let's say someone's bio says "walked in off the street at the last minute because you can't find honest work." Even though it's clearly in jest something like that dismisses the hard work others are putting into the show, dismisses or at least hides the good judgement of the director in casting that person, and maybe makes the audience member who reads it before the curtain goes up worry it's going to be a more amateur production than they hoped. So! Even if you *didn't* want to be consistently recognized and sought after by the viewing public you still have a responsibility to suck it up and write a good one. (Plus, again, it's that resume thing right?)
Finally, meet and greet. Eh. I think it's always just a sign that the people who stick around to ask questions -- ay questions -- just enjoyed the show and don't want it to be over. Still, if you see what you're doing as entertainment then... that's still part of the entertainment. But it's cool to disagree. If you've got a lead role you gotta be there, if you're supporting you probably should. Same if your part's small but you get a good laugh/applause line. Chorus? Outtathere is fine.
Finally, remember (and this is big) that if you're selling yourself short there then you're probably selling yourself short, in *exactly the same way,* in other areas of your life.
Bottom line though: shut up and take your turn. You changed diapers, you clean commodes, you can do your bows and bios too. (The job's not done till the paperwork's done.)
figleaf
p.s. people *enjoy* watching you perform, DL, whether you like it or no. Let's say by some miracle you're right and everyone else is wrong and you *do* deserve the run-down reputation you try to give yourself. Then by that logic you're *still* wrong and they're right because they're better qualified. :-)
I can understand on all levels. I've had some programs that require designer headshots, and I've had to fake it, which in my book is even worse than having a professional shot you hate.
Writing about yourself for the bio is uncomfortable, wiring about yourself in third person is just plain creepy.
I have had directors who insist on designers taking the curtain call on openings, and i feel like i spend a lot of time staring at my shoes. My work is up there to be seen, while i sit back and watch. That gasp from the audience, when something unexpected changes onstage is all the applause I ever want.
From my end the after show meet and greet is painless, since most times my face is not known or on the headshot board, and i'm not there for every performance, and if i am coming out after its usually to figure out where we are going for drinks.
This is work though, and all of that stuff is part of the job - its a social, visible medium, and for you that includes your face, your voice, and those dancin' feet. I always say there is a reason I work backstage... And if you are continuing to work, year after year, then there is a reason and maybe its cause you do good work that people feel should be recognized. Here's hoping i get to see your work sometime...
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