8/7/08

Since I have known her, my mother in law has had a "Death Box".
A plastic shoe box filled with instructions for her family upon her death.
Where she wanted to be waked, where she wanted to be interred.
Readings for her funeral mass, hymns and songs she wanted played.
She even wrote her own obituary.
I have known her nearly 20 years and she updated the box regularly, changing locations as she moved around the state.
More recently as her time on this Earth grew to an end she also picked her dress that she wanted to be buried in and began to divide up her belongings.
This may seem odd to you but it was one of the greatest gifts she could have given her family.
Her children and devoted husband had very little to worry about, you see she took care of them even in her death.


My mother, who has been preparing me and my siblings for her death since I can remember, also has instructions though not a "Death Box".
She's starting one this weekend.
I'm starting one myself because anything can happen.








Thank you for all your kind words, they brought a little light to my days.

7 comments:

Zoot said...

Seems like a very practical thing to do. I may just start one myself, and stop leaving written notes behind when I go out the door, except for the one that says, "look in the Death Box for instructions."

Anonymous said...

I'VE GOT INSTRUCTIONS WRITTEN DOWN "JUST IN CASE". I DON'T LIKE TO BE A BURDEN TO ANYONE.

Anonymous said...

What a thoughful thing to do for all! Hang in there.

SignGurl said...

Oh, Dark Lady. I'm so sorry I missed the passing of this wonderful woman. I know how much she meant to you and your family. I hope that you are all able to remember the happy and good times with her.

My condolences to you.

P.S. My friends all know that they need to find my special toys when I do so as not to cause too much of an uproar.

What the Chuck said...

Hi DL,

I have only one wish. That is to be drug by my friends, shoveled into the trunk of a car and be hauled off to the cheapest local crematorium.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay for an ambulance ride after I'm dead!

They can take the money saved and spend it on fine tequila. I figure after a couple of fifths, they'll make up the rest.

XOXO

Chuck

Karl said...

Good Morning Dark Lady,

A wise and thoughtful thing to do.

When my father passed he left no instructions, it made for some very difficult decisions. To this day I still wonder whether he would want to be where he is interned.

Could you give an update on the condition of the young lady with neck injury?

Jim said...

Reminds me of the chest that Meryl Streep's character left behind for her kids to find, in "Bridges of Madison County." We all know we have to leave, at some point, and it seems kind of nice to go with some parting thoughts, words . . . specific instructions, lol.

Very nice that you can remember her now as just that much more thoughtful.

XO